Friday, November 26, 2010

The increase in the Keto and Hydro dropped the PSA from 16.6 to 10.7 in 1 week. That is good news that there is still a strong response to the Hormonal Treatment. The longer we can get this to work is more time before we have we need to switch to something else. Yesterday was 1 year since the Bone Scan confirmed the spread of the Prostate Cancer to the bones throughout my body. 1 year later and I seem to be doing pretty well overall. The PSA has been mostly controlled with some ups and downs and the pain has let up since the radiation. I believe that we are holding our own and hope that continues for a good, long time. I hope Thanksgiving was good for all of you. This fight definitely reminds me of the things that I am most thankful for.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

New PSA and stuff

My PSA went from 1.6 in August to 2.8 in early October to 16.6 last week. Not really what we were looking for on the PSA, but the Alkaline Phosphotase (bone indicator) dropped to 43. Kind of a mixed bag of results. We are still working with the Enzymes and Ketoconazole, but we have 2 months of increase so it is time to review once more. The initial thought for this month is to raise the dosage of Keto and Hydrocortisone to the maximum dose, which we are doing. This still may be a temporary solution if next months PSA continues to rise. We had been discussing consulting with some doctors in Los Angeles that are strictly Prostate Oncologists. Very impressive credentials and experience. We decided that we should contact them and see when we could get an appointment. They had a cancellation for Wednesday November 17th and we were able to get travel arrangements made. So here we are. I will meet with Dr. Lam of Prostate Oncology, Inc tomorrow. At some point I will consult with Dr. Scholz, as well. These are names that many with Prostate Cancer or in the arena of the treatment of Prostate Cancer would know. Teresa and I hope for some additional options explained to us and also to deal with oncologists who are very informed and educated about our options, now and down the road. As many of you who read here and also David Emerson’s excellent blog, “The Big C” know, the options for us seem to be amazingly few when compared to the large number of men diagnosed with Prostate Cancer annually. A group associated with Prostate Oncologist, Inc that was formed to bring awareness, and hopefully funding, to Prostate Cancer Research and Prevention is BlueSeptember. I have also added a link on the right side to this group. I will be sure to share my experience with this appointment as soon as possible and hope that I will be able to pass on information to any who fight the same battle. Talk to you soon!
B.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Risk vs. Reward

I haven’t written anything in awhile, and haven’t written anything much of substance in even longer. I have felt a little unsure of where I am and where I am going in regards to this cancer and my prognosis. I feel pretty good right now. I get tired at the end of the day and the fatigue sometimes leads to back and shoulder pain, but I can do things most of the day. Sometimes fishing, or building a chicken brooder, or just messing around with the kids. I feel limitations that weren’t there last year, but I also have more energy than I did a year ago. If I get decent rest, all is well. So, do I believe that this is the eye of the storm or am I actually beating this thing? That is the $64,000 question. Like most things in life that are impossible to know without a crystal ball, it comes down to perspective and faith. Perspective in the sense that I need to maintain a positive attitude about where I was, where I am, and where I am going. This is not only true with cancer, but pretty much everything in my life to help recover from cancer and to live the life that I know I was meant to live. Most days I can do this. It is only because of people like you who read these words. Even if I don’t know who reads them, because I know that people do, and it means something. The faith that I can beat this is a little harder and can be a little slippery. I have the faith, but I know that this is a tough battle that most eventually will not win. Most hope for a significant delay and each day becomes very precious, but it is hard to dare to dream that this can be defeated and gone. That is the thought that hovers in the back, sides, and sometimes front of my brain. Do I dare get my hopes up that I can be cancer free by doing my part? I have decided that I can dream that dream and win this war. It is about faith. It is the same thing as trying to live a good life, not only because it is the right thing to do, but because I believe that I can live eternally with my family and my Heavenly Father. Some may think that this isn’t cool or I am fooling myself. Do I know without a doubt that this is true, or do I have to believe on faith? It has to be faith. But, if I am wrong, so what? I have hopefully lived a life to be proud of. I will have hopefully provided a legacy of example to my children. There is only upside. No downside. This battle is the same. If I do everything I can do to fight this and believe with all my heart that I will win, I just might. Will I ever know for sure? Not until the last card is played on the final hand. If I am wrong, am I a fool for trying? No. I will have shown courage, dignity, grace, strength, and faith. I still win. No downside. The “Point of the Post” then, is this. It is okay to aim high and dream big. If you suffer from cancer or any other ailment or affliction, have faith that you can win, because you can. Don’t fear being wrong about things unseen, including God. If you end up being wrong, what have you lost? Especially when weighed against what you have gained. The human body has amazing potential, but only when it is led by the head and the heart. Risk it! You will be rewarded, whatever the result.