Risk vs. Reward

I haven’t written anything in awhile, and haven’t written anything much of substance in even longer. I have felt a little unsure of where I am and where I am going in regards to this cancer and my prognosis. I feel pretty good right now. I get tired at the end of the day and the fatigue sometimes leads to back and shoulder pain, but I can do things most of the day. Sometimes fishing, or building a chicken brooder, or just messing around with the kids. I feel limitations that weren’t there last year, but I also have more energy than I did a year ago. If I get decent rest, all is well. So, do I believe that this is the eye of the storm or am I actually beating this thing? That is the $64,000 question. Like most things in life that are impossible to know without a crystal ball, it comes down to perspective and faith. Perspective in the sense that I need to maintain a positive attitude about where I was, where I am, and where I am going. This is not only true with cancer, but pretty much everything in my life to help recover from cancer and to live the life that I know I was meant to live. Most days I can do this. It is only because of people like you who read these words. Even if I don’t know who reads them, because I know that people do, and it means something. The faith that I can beat this is a little harder and can be a little slippery. I have the faith, but I know that this is a tough battle that most eventually will not win. Most hope for a significant delay and each day becomes very precious, but it is hard to dare to dream that this can be defeated and gone. That is the thought that hovers in the back, sides, and sometimes front of my brain. Do I dare get my hopes up that I can be cancer free by doing my part? I have decided that I can dream that dream and win this war. It is about faith. It is the same thing as trying to live a good life, not only because it is the right thing to do, but because I believe that I can live eternally with my family and my Heavenly Father. Some may think that this isn’t cool or I am fooling myself. Do I know without a doubt that this is true, or do I have to believe on faith? It has to be faith. But, if I am wrong, so what? I have hopefully lived a life to be proud of. I will have hopefully provided a legacy of example to my children. There is only upside. No downside. This battle is the same. If I do everything I can do to fight this and believe with all my heart that I will win, I just might. Will I ever know for sure? Not until the last card is played on the final hand. If I am wrong, am I a fool for trying? No. I will have shown courage, dignity, grace, strength, and faith. I still win. No downside. The “Point of the Post” then, is this. It is okay to aim high and dream big. If you suffer from cancer or any other ailment or affliction, have faith that you can win, because you can. Don’t fear being wrong about things unseen, including God. If you end up being wrong, what have you lost? Especially when weighed against what you have gained. The human body has amazing potential, but only when it is led by the head and the heart. Risk it! You will be rewarded, whatever the result.