Christmas Love

The events leading up to Christmas this year, including my week-long stay in the hospital have confused my state of mind. I try to keep things in today and not look too far down the road or project situations that can't be dealt with yet. So while I believe that overall I am still accomplishing these goals, the feeling of being not well and definitely not up to the standard I would hope for myself, causes me to feel a little more mortal than I want to. The thought pops up in the back of my mind about how many of these Christmas's do I get. The cavalier part of me says that I will fight and get as many more as I want. The realistic part says that if I see another one after this one, I should count myself among the very fortunate. I hope to feel better soon, and to be truthful, I do, day by day, little by little. But I also know that my treatment options have been reduced to a very few. And those are real long shots for me now. My reason for this post isn't to whine and elicit sympathy. It is to help my put some things into perspective as I go forward with my day and turn the corner on a new year. The thought goes that you always find out who your friends are when the chips are down. I wish I knew what I did to deserve the friends and family that I have, because I would have done much more of it. Our Mormon Church family, has just taken my belief in support, love, charity, support, and Christ-like service and exploded it into something that I could not have imagined if I tried. I am not saying this lightly. They have brought dinners, members to visit and pray, friends to distract the kids, heartfelt beautiful gifts for Christmas, and just their love to help us know that Heavenly Father is not punishing us, but is loving us with all of His strength through this necessary trial. I feel His concern for us and know that we are not going through this in the background of His Mind, but cradled in His Loving Hands. For non-religious people, that may sound far-fetched or even irrelevant. When you enter this type of situation with a young family and a young wife that you adore, I assure you, it is everything. And it is not just the feeling of God's love coming to me from a distance, it flows through every handshake, every hug, and every smile from those that know that we are meant to love each other. Everything else in life will fall into place if we have the type of unconditional love that true charity for our fellow man brings us. I am probably in a preachy place today and feel that I need to get some of this amazing gratitude for my family, who just loves me and the friends that I feel has done so much more for me than I have ever done for them. My Christmas message then is this, Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Not just for the gifts, but for showing me and my family how to give of ourselves and belong to a family and a church that stands tall for what it believes. And when the chips are down, and you are digging through the scattered remains of your life and belongings, a Christ-like family is there holding a Lasagna.
I love you all with all my heart!
Brian.
Merry Christmas!!!